Fill the hole in every soul.

You know llama beans make excellent fertilizer that doesn’t need to be composted and has virtually no odor. Now you also know that llama beans make perfect mancala beans, pie weights, hand sanitizers, smokeless tobacco alternatives, fidgets and much more. When you buy our expertly crafted products we ship them to you in packaging you’ll be happy to keep by your bed or give to your boss. When you feel sad just crumble the beans and sprinkle them on your sucullent while you stare out your window. All you have to do is buy.

—

Life can be annoying,

share the gift of bliss.

—

Our bean farm is located in rural Southwest Colorado. We live with 6 llamas, 3 cats, 2 dogs, 3 sheep, 15 chickens, a couple foxes, many racoons, native waterfowl and visiting family members. We love our animals. Your purchases allow our animals to live with the self-worth and conifdence that comes with business success.

Meet the Team

  • Snickers

    CO-PRODUCER. LOVING, TENDER.

  • Nettie

    CO-PRODUCER. WATCHFUL, CURIOUS.

  • The 4 Other Llamas

    CO-PRODUCERS. VAGUE, ANONYMOUS.

  • Leigh

    MOTHER. DIVINE.

  • Jeff

    FATHER. HYPERBOLIC, DISTRACTABLE.

  • Emerson

    SON. SUPER INTO KNIVES.

  • Clarity

    DAUGHTER. ASPIRING SERIAL KILLER METHOD ACTRESS.

  • You

    CUSTOMER. GENEROUS, DISCERNING.

  • People You Know

    PICK SOMETHING OUT AND BUY IT FOR THEM. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT BUT THEY WANT IT.

Learn More about Fertilizer